Wat ek geleer het

Oos Wes Tuis Bes. Daar waar jy jou wortels gevestig het en jou lewe gebou het is waar jy hoort. Al is daar aspekte van jou lewe wat seermaak of frustreer, is en sal daai plek altyd die plek wees waar jy die mees oorspronklike jy kan wees.

Moenie probeer om van jou probleme af weg te hardloop nie. Ek het altyd gedink dat as ek die dag begin toer, ek nie sommer weer huistoe sal gaan nie. Daar is soveel negatiewe denke geheg aan my lewe in Durbanville en Stellenbosch, maar die negatiewe aspekte is dié wat die positiewes so wonderlik maak, en hulle so laat uitstyg bo die res. Swaarkry is deel van die lewe. Dit maak nie saak waar jy is, saam met wie jy is, of wie jy probeer wees nie. Die lewe gaan nooit net ‘n reguit paadjie wees nie.

Ek het geleer dat bestaan dieselfde is waar jy ookal gaan. Jy mag dalk in ‘n ander kultuur instap waar hul ‘n ander taal praat en ander tradisies het, maar die lewe verskil nie sommer van plek tot plek nie. Kinders is nog steeds ongehoorsaam, ouers is nog steeds moedeloos, en water les nog steeds jou dors.

Ek het geleer dat planne nie altyd uitwerk nie. Vliegtuie is laat, visa-aansoeke is gekompliseerd, en ‘n mens word nie onvoorwaardelik welkom geheet in vreemde lande nie. Duitsers is onherroeplik mislik. Italianers het geen etiket as dit kom by sypaadjie-wandelinge nie, en op ‘n reënerige dag in Milan moet jy liewers by die huis bly. Italianers met sambrele is net gevaarlik.

As jy geluk gevind het, klou hand en voet daaraan vas. Ek praat nie van geluk in werksomstandighede of liefdesverhoudings of ander sosiale vreugdes nie. Ek praat van die geluk wat ‘n mens vind as jy tevrede is met jouself. My laaste paar weke in Kaapstad was van die bestes van my lewe omdat ek vrede gemaak het met die swaarkry waardeur die lewe my gestuur het. Ek het daai swaarkry gevat, dit in ‘n handvol kerswas omskep, by ‘n vuur gaan staan, en daai kerswas verdraai tot in ‘n bolletjie vreugde.

Ek het ‘n vriend gemaak wat my gewys het dat die lewe ‘n fees is. Hy het my geleer dat elke dag ‘n nuwe geleentheid is om geluk te vind, en dat die klein en onopmerklike aspekte van die lewe eintlik die ongelooflikste effek kan hê. Ek het geleer dat trane nie altyd uit smart ontstaan nie. Dat berge en waterstrome met ons kan praat as ons luister. En dat ‘n glas wyn nie ‘n ontsnappingspoging is nie, maar eerder die pad na ‘n ontwaking – ‘n kans om jou oë oop te maak, uit die bed uit op te staan en albei voete stewig in die aarde te plant met die wete dat jou tydelike bestaan ware waarde dra.

Just like that.

Sometimes, life just sucks. And it isn’t necessarily the by-product of a personal choice, self pity, or the unnecessary enunciation of a disappointing event. Sometimes, it just downright sucks.

I think the worst thing for most people to face is the fact that this entire phenomenon is pretty much inevitable. Life isn’t always fun and it isn’t always pretty. But what frustrates me to infinite degrees is when these “most people” trample any remnants of joy left in those around them in an attempt to improve their own mood. That they should poison the flowery fields of bliss in order to cultivate their own alien plants instills in me such disappointment, I doubt the day I discovered our family’s ginger gene could ever compare.

Perhaps my hypocrisy shines through in the fact that being permanently joyous is not a talent I myself possess. Digging yourself a hole in which you can cry and brood is easy. And occasionally, it's okay to be sad. But I actually just woke up one day and decided I didn’t want to feel like that anymore. Or ever again. So I changed…. Just. Like. That.

It's comforting to know that once you have seen the dark side of things, you experience the light in a completely new way. Sometimes having been to the other side allows for a more optimal experience of true joy. 

Water, is taught by thirst.
Land - by the Oceans passed.
Transport - by throe -
Peace - by its battles told -
Love, by Memorial Mold -
Birds, by the Snow.
                                         -Emily Dickinson, 1859

It is the day you discover what you have been missing that will enlighten your entire soul. It is the day you decide that you actually want to live and really experience what life has to offer, that you will discover that all there is, is you taking control of what you know you deserve from life. Become nestled in the prospect of immersing your life in something beautiful, and it will serve as a freedom from everything of the everyday that makes life suck just a little. 

What if I find something that I like more?

It’s always fulfilling to find something you like – something that makes you want to wake up early so you can pursue it. Or makes you stay up until early because it’s even cooler than sleeping. And it’s always fun to do. And it makes you feel less trapped in some way because it’s like an escape from the everyday things.

When we’re in school we’re told that Maths and Science and Accounting are extremely important because we will be able to find the perfect career and be rich and buy houses and cars and love. And then you do what they say and you end up rich and you buy all these things and you’re happy for a while. And maybe you even like what you do. And you have happy children who do happy children things. And life seems great.

But what if you find something that you like more? What if what you had suddenly seems forced upon you and you want to escape from it… but really you can’t because you’ve already manifested yourself in it and you know nothing else and you’re terrified of losing what you’ve been building up to your whole life? What if you never got to be the most authentic you because society told you that it would be a lie?

Ken Robinson writes in his book The Element: How Finding Your Passion Changes Everything that in doing the thing you love, you get to feel like your most authentic self. You find that time passes differently and that you are more alive, more centered, and more vibrant than at any other time. Doing what you love takes you beyond the ordinary experiences of enjoyment and happiness. We’re not talking about parties and sunsets and good times or laughter or beer. When people do what they love, they connect with something fundamental to their sense of identity, purpose, and well-being. It provides a sense of self-revelation, of defining who you really are and what you’re really meant to be doing with your life.

One of the most important things to embrace is the diversity of intelligence. If you don’t embrace the fact that we think about the world in a variety of ways – ways often different from those around us – you severely limit your chances of establishing yourself.

Sometimes the challenge comes from within – from the lack of confidence and the fear of failure. Taking a different path may also not comply with the rules and the expectations set by those around you. If you don’t have the encouragement to pursue what you love, perhaps it is time to connect back with people who are willing to support you. Perhaps you need to leave some people behind. Surround yourself with like-minded company. We were never made to face the world by ourselves. Sometimes you need to leave familiarities behind; take risks. Alan Alda says it best: You have to leave the city of your comfort and go into the wilderness of your intuition. What you’ll discover will be wonderful. What you’ll discover is yourself.

One of the greatest things of the modern generation is that we can alter our lives through a simple alteration in our attitude of mind. If you change your mind, you can change your life. Changing your attitude of mind can allow you to become more focused and intent. To live in the moment. To become lost in the experience and perform at your peak. Your breathing changes. Your mind merges with your body. You feel yourself drawn effortlessly to the heart of what you were born to be.

Forget the if and the might and BE something. Happiness really is within your grasp.

Cosmos of mystery

We forget how powerful our minds are

– how easily we can live in fantasy worlds

forced into our minds

by our neglected souls.

Ons vergeet hoe baie ons het om na uit te sien.

Ons vergeet hoe groot alles is

en hoe klein ons is

en hoe daar hierdie kosmos van misterie

vir ons sit en wag

met ope arms.

We continually

and obnoxiously

keep waiting for our lives to begin.

First class

You enter your first English honours class with excitement and an expectant, girlish face in anticipation of the life-enriching, intelligent designs of the English language, its components and its criticisms. And then the professor insists you share why you're taking the course...

Because I want to know more.
Because I've been stuck in an insignificant world where status, money and success are everything.
Because I don't want to be an engineer.
Because I want to share my opinion on the world, on people, on life.
Because, when you read something, you read the person that wrote it.
Because, when you can read the person that wrote it, you can read the world.
Because when you can read the world, you can write about the world.
Because when you can write about the world, you know that you are real.
Because when you are real, you know that you're attempting to change the world.
Because even when your attempts to change the world fail, someone already read what you wrote.
Because when someone read what you wrote, they read you.
Because when someone read you, you know that you made an impact.
Because making an impact - that is what changes the world.